How did you two meet?
We met at BYU. His roommate wanted to ask my roommate out, so he asked if Marv would take me out as a double date. We had never met, but I had noticed him in church a few weeks earlier. Marv's timing in asking me out was good. I had just returned from a bad date and declared to my roommates that I would never date again. I was sick of it. Just after my emphatic declaration, the phone rang. It was Marv asking me out. I found him to be intriguing, so I said yes. I've been saying yes to him ever since.
Tell us about the proposal.
There wasn't one really. I was living in Seattle and he was in Provo, Utah going to summer school. Before I left, we decided to pray about getting married. He called on the appointed day, and asked me how I felt (meaning, how do you feel about getting married.) I said fine. I asked him how he felt and he said fine. There was a long pause and then Marv said, "Does that mean we're engaged?" And I said yes.
When did you know you wanted to marry him?
From the day I first saw him. I said he intrigued me, but actually, I was really quite smitten. He was, and continues to be, the man of my dreams.
What challenges did you face during your engagement/wedding planning process?
My mom was dealing with breast cancer and my brother announced his engagement at the same time. Planning two weddings and dealing with a serious illness was very trying for my parents. They wanted me to put off the wedding for a few years. But in the end, if we had, my mom wouldn't have lived long enough to attend our wedding. We were married two weeks after my brother.
What was your favorite part of your wedding celebration?
Just being alone with Marv after our wedding. I couldn't believe I got to marry my best friend.
Is there anything you would have done differently?
I wish I had been more aware of the sacrifices my mom and others made for me so that I could have a wonderful wedding, my mom especially. She and Dad drove to Salt Lake City from Seattle because she couldn't fly. Then they turned around the next day and drove back because she was so sick. I wish I had acknowledged her sacrifice. She is an amazing woman.
What advice would you give a bride planning her wedding now?
Try not to get too caught up in yourself during the wedding planning. Yes, it's an important day, but many other people and their feelings should be acknowledged and taken into consideration, also. Stay happy and relaxed and fill your soul with appreciation for everything you are experiencing and all the good people in your life.
What is your favorite part of your relationship now?
Everything. I love how we have experienced so many things in life--the good and the bad. We have gone through so much together, but it is in the "getting through" that has galvanized our relationship. He is a treasure to me. I could never live without him.
How has it changed over the last 40 years?
When we were first married, I was totally infatuated with him. Marrying him was like winning the lottery. Now that we've been married this long, I see that I loved him then, but the depth of our love knows no bounds. We have indeed become basically the same person: Two souls with one heart.
What attitude or behavior helped get you to your 40 years of marriage?
I think a happy and relaxed attitude, and a great faith in the Lord, knowing that everything would work out fine. There also has to be a healthy amount of selflessness, and a genuine desire to make the other person happy.
What is your best advice for a couple starting out now?
Above all, be kind. Don't be afraid to give 100% of yourself to your marriage partner. They will give 100% back in return, and it will be the most wonderful cherished relationship you can ever have.
Where do you see yourselves in the next 10 years?
I would like to see us sitting side by side in rocking chairs on our back deck overlooking a beautiful lake, watching our children and grandchildren play. That sounds perfect to me.