1. Be Patient with Yourself
This is a time in your life you have always dreamed about. Picking out a dream gown. Having bridal showers, engagement parties and bachelorette parties thrown for you. Rallying with your family to celebrate the love of your life. With so many expected highs and joys, the lows, the frustration and the discouragement might surprise you. Don’t let these negative emotions overwhelm you. They are normal with any massive life change. The sooner you can accept them as normal, the easier it will be to move through them (and on to the next great high). Allow yourself the room to be imperfect, emotional, frustrated and disappointed. In acknowledging your feelings you can help prevent nasty bridezilla blame and tantrums. When you are feeling low, take some time alone or with a close friend to talk out your feelings and to deal with them. Sometimes a great night’s sleep, a hard workout, or a long cry will be all you need.
2. Think of Others
As a bride, it is easy to focus on yourself but don’t forget that you are surrounded by people that love you, are celebrating with you and who also have their own lives to live. As natural as it is to become self-involved and wrapped up in this time, a sure-fire way to stave of the beastly bridezilla is to spend time actively considering your fiance, your family and your close friends cheering you on. Plan a special date night for your sweetheart. Take your best friend out for the evening and listen to everything happening in her life. Do something kind for your mother (or future mother-in-law). Focusing on others immediately reminds of the special people in your life and helps you appreciate them.
3. Embrace Joy
You can substitute joy with any positive emotion that you’d like (happiness, love, fun, gratitude). The important thing is that you consciously choose to infuse each wedding task and personal interaction with it. For example, if you are going wedding dress shopping rather than agonizing whether or not you’ll find your perfect dress, you can decide to make it a joyful experience for you and everyone with you. When you look for the joy (or fun or love or happy) in any and every situation, you will find it! Much of the stress bridezillas experience comes because they inadvertently ride the waves of whatever emotion and feeling comes their way. You can choose the way you feel and approach each situation!
Laughter is healthy. It cuts through pain, frustration and even grief. I makes you look beautiful and feel good. If you feel your inner-bridezilla coming on, turn on your comedy of choice STAT! Laugh, laugh, laugh until you feel like yourself again. Bonus points for getting together with someone else and laughing to your hearts’ content. There is no downside to laughter.
5. Get Some Perspective
One of my favorite coaching tasks I assign to clients is to find a way to volunteer and serve someone in a different situation. Feeding the homeless, caring for the sick or even cheering up the elderly can give a much needed reality-check during hectic stressful times. It might seem like one more item on an ever-growing “to do” list, but stopping to help someone else can clear your mind and force you to see things through a new perspective. Centerpiece choices seem trivial when feeding a young family who has no where to live and no food to eat. After caring for a terminal cancer patient, you might find yourself aching to repair your relationship with your mom. Whatever new perspective you need, service is one of the best ways to find it. Animal shelters, hospitals, retirement homes, food banks and churches will often have slews of volunteer work available. You can set up a regular time to volunteer or just come in for one shift. Either way, everyone wins.
Even the sweetest brides will wrestle with demons during their engagement. You are not alone! Use one (or all) of these tips to keep your sanity and sweetness throughout this momentous time. Everyone around you will love you for it.