Tonight I was asked to share a spiritual thought for Relief Society . . . a message about service before making blankets for children in need. I thought through the topic and planned a sweet, uplifting, make-you-want to change the world message. I like messages to be hopeful, bright and make you ready to take action.
This morning as I woke up, I felt strongly like I should share two experiences . . . personal experiences . . . depressing experiences. I fought it all day and then wrote out a message with the experiences sandwiched between uplifting, joyful messages. When I stood to speak, only the experiences tumbled out. I felt exposed and vulnerable, with all the peppy parts of me washed away. I knew it was what needed to be shared.
But it's just so hard to self-disclose like that. I used to be the girl that self-disclosed all over the place . . . oozing truth, honesty and feelings. Something has changed in me. Maybe it's the coaching and the counseling, where self-disclosure comes carefully, thoughtfully and rarely? Maybe it's just growing older and a little more guarded?
For all the awkwardness I feel now and felt while exposing my heart and experiences to a room full of women, I'm grateful that I did. I believe that when we do what we know we should, even when it's difficult, wonderful things are in store. There is no other way!
Authentic communication isn't just about the happy, the peppy and the sweet . . . it cuts to the heart of a matter and speaks soul to soul.
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